I miss sleep

It's no secret to anyone that having a baby means you will sleep less. In fact, it seems like the one thing that everyone reminds you of when they find out you're pregnant. I could pay Lucas' way through college if I had a dollar for every time someone told me, "Get your sleep now because you won't get any when the baby gets here!"

I wish that were possible. If I could bank sleep, I would have banked it like it was my job when I was pregnant and then I'd be sitting pretty now. Only got four hours of sleep last night? No problem, just take two or three from the bank and you'll be good. Man, do I wish.

Never did I wish that more than today. I have been fighting a cold since last Friday, and Dan had to work. I put Lucas to bed at 8:45, 15 minutes earlier than usual but no big deal. I went up to bed at 10:30 and would have gone right to sleep but made the mistake of turning on the Olympics. Men's figure skating was on, and even though I don't like the men's skating as much as the women's, figure skating is one of my absolute favorite events of either Olympics, winter or summer. So of course I watched the skating until midnight.

Big mistake. About one hour after I fell asleep, at 1:15, Lucas started fussing. I went into his room, put his pacifier back in and sat there for a few minutes to make sure he wouldn't spit it back out immediately. Went back to my room, fell back to sleep. Repeat at 2:30. Repeat at 3:15. Repeat at 3:45. Repeat at 4:30. At that point, I tried to give Lucas a bottle, of which he took maybe an ounce. By then, my body was like, "What?" so it decided to revolt and stay awake for an hour or so. I laid in bed, feeling a sense of dread that any mother will be familiar with. If I go to sleep now, will he wake up 5 minutes later? I wanted to sleep so bad but I'd just as soon stay awake than fall asleep only to be woken up minutes after I dozed.

I eventually drifted off, and woke up at 6:15 to Lucas fussing once again. I had successfully ignored my 6:00 alarm, and when I woke up to the sounds of whimpers turning to full-out wails on the monitor, I looked over at the dog like, This is not happening. He looked at me like, You brought this on yourself, now go make that kid be quiet.

I dragged myself to his room, willing him to go to sleep after I put the pacifier in his mouth so I could get ready for the day. Instead, he was wide awake and hungry. I managed to shuffle my way through the rest of my morning routine, even succeeding in getting a bit of make-up on my face so I wouldn't look so exhausted. I somehow made it through the day, and now I'm going to bed in hopes that tonight will be a better night. And if it's not, I can at least take comfort knowing that Dan will be off work tomorrow night.