I don't have a clever title because it's Monday and I'm annoyed about that

This morning was a disaster. I woke up at the time when I should have been leaving for work, which made me super late and now I'm going to have to stay in for part of my lunch hour to make it up. And it's pretty much all Dan's fault. I'm sorry to say that, because I know he's my husband and he's wonderful and I'm only supposed to speak kindly about him. But facts are facts, and the fact is that it's his fault.


This disastrous morning started before I even went to bed. My mom called around 9:30 last night to confirm that my dad was not watching Lucas at all this week. I was confused, because I had thought that my dad had him the next day (today). Turns out, my mom was right. So there was the first monkey wrench in the works. I'm the kind of person who plans things, and I had already been mentally preparing my morning. I would get up, shower, get Lucas ready then take him to my dad's. Now, because he would be staying home with Dan all day, I got to sleep an extra hour. Ordinarily, this would be good news. But I didn't get to enjoy it as much because my mental preparations were completely messed up. (The exception to this is a snow day. I am nothing but overjoyed when my boss calls me at 6 to tell me that the office is closed because of snow.)


So then, Dan and I go upstairs to go to bed. This is always an interesting time, because we have this unspoken battle game that happens every night when Dan is home. Whoever gets upstairs first gets the remote and the good side of the bed (closest to the tv, and the side with the clock).


The remote game is actually fun. Here's how it's played:


Whoever gets the remote first gets it and can turn on any channel they desire, within reason. You are not allowed to bring the remote out of the bedroom. If you have to go to the bathroom to brush your teeth or wash your face, you lose the remote. However, if the other person is not upstairs or in the room at this time, you may hide the remote somewhere in the room so that the other person will have difficulty finding it. If they find it, they claim it until and unless they then have to leave the room. (Since Dan never goes online and doesn't read this blog unless I sit him down and read it to him, I can tell you that my best hiding place is under the mattress. It doesn't seem like it, but I actually lift the mattress up and put the remote right in the middle so that any exploratory swipes won't produce the prize.)


The good-side-of-the-bed game is not so fun. Here's how it's played:


Dan sleeps on the good side of the bed for the first year we are married. This is during the time we were sleeping in the bedroom that is now Lucas' nursery. We move the bed to the other room after we paint it a shade of green I now greatly regret, and the whole game changes. Instead of having the tv right in front of us as we did previously, it is now located on Dan's side of the bed (because that's where the cable jack is). Since Dan works nights, I decide that I am there every night and that I will now claim the good side of the bed. Now every night is a constant battle of "it's mine" and "no, it's mine!" Dan says that it's his because he had it when we first got married and also that it is actually his bed, since he brought it with him when we got married. I say that possession is nine-tenths of the law and that, since I possess that side every night, it is now rightfully mine. Kind-of like a common-law marriage. Also, Dan gets to sleep there when he comes home from work because I'm gone. So he gets it for at least part of the week and he should just pipe down and be happy about it.


(You might be wondering why this is all relevant. I actually am too, and I had to sit here for a second to remember where I was going with all that. Luckily for everyone, it came to me.)


Well, as I mentioned, the good side of the bed has the alarm clock on it. We used to have a clock on both sides until I brought the other one to my parents' house while I was pregnant and sleeping over there in case I went into labor while Dan was at work. So now there's one clock and I ALWAYS keep the alarm set for 6 a.m. Always. Dan uses his phone as his alarm, and this is how it's been for a long time.


So last night we went to bed at around 10. Dan was exhausted because he had worked the night before and slept only a few hours because he usually likes to get up early-ish and enjoy his first day off. He fell asleep really quickly, and I was left with the remote all to myself, not a bit tired because Lucas had slept through the night before and I got to sleep in until 8 a.m. (oh the luxury). So I made a huge mistake and got sucked into this movie on Lifetime. Except it was kind-of scary (about this lady who had her house broken into and was held hostage with her daughter) and then I couldn't fall asleep because I was on-edge.


I finally fell asleep and was dreaming that I was home from college on spring break and that I'd just woken up from sleeping in until 3 p.m. (you know, the good old days). And then I heard Dan say, "Katie you're late for work!" And I woke up and said "Leave me alone, I'm on spring break."


And then I realized that it wasn't spring break since I'm an adult in this cold hard world and I don't get a spring break. And then I further realized that my alarm had not gone off. What the what? I know I turned it on...in fact, it's still on, waiting to go off.


"Daniel did you re-set this alarm?" And he buried his face in his pillow and started blaming it on Lucas for sleeping through the night again.


And then I scrambled all over the place trying to get ready for work. I didn't even get a chance to relish in the knowledge that my son had slept almost 12 hours for the second night in a row. We're talking real progress here, folks. I don't know what the definition of "fluke" is, but I'm pretty sure it's not, "Something that randomly happens two nights in a row."


At least it's a only four-day week. Let's hope this all-night sleeping continues so I can enjoy a little sleeping-in to help celebrate the resurrection of Jesus this weekend.

Caffeine: A Love Story

I truly don't know where I would be today were it not for you, caffeine. You have been my constant companion for more than 7 years (minus our brief and ugly break-up during my pregnancy). I love you more than I could ever express.

What I love most are the many forms you take, the many ways you present yourself to meet my needs. When my eyes are bleary and my head is swimming with exhaustion on a depressingly early Monday morning, you make yourself readily available in my a.m. cup of tea. When I'm dragging my feet during the post-lunch slump, you come to my rescue in a delicious can of Diet Pepsi. And although these days I avoid you in the evenings like I'll be avoiding bathing suits this summer, there was a time when you were by my side through those nights of cramming for finals and writing the thesis that I waited until the last minute to do.

Yes caffeine, you have been a faithful friend. Despite the fact that I find you disgusting in coffee, I love you just the same. No one's perfect, right? And now, when I need you more than ever, you are here for me. Now that my child has decided to play sleep roulette, one night pretending like he just might master the art of sleeping all night, only to burst my bubble with 10,000 samurai swords the next, you come through on your aluminum steed.

You make me believe that anything is possible. You allow me to get through the day somewhat coherently, regardless of how much sleep I've had (or didn't have) the night before. And even though you are not remotely discriminating in the company you keep (yes, I know about the others), I don't care. I love you that much. Call me self-destructive, but I won't answer. And even though we both know that all I do is take, take, take, you never cease to give.

So caffeine, my beloved, my friend, my life-blood, thank you from the bottom of my wired heart. I dread the day when that pee stick again turns up two pink lines and we'll have to part ways for another 9 long months. But never fear, for I'll be back. As soon as the fruit of my womb is born and sleeping under the warming lamp, I'll instruct the nurse to switch my saline IV to Diet Pepsi, just like I did last time. And then, yes then, we will have our joyous reunion.

But until then, dear sweet caffeine, I will rejoice in our relationship and faithfully visit you at least 3 times a day. This is my solemn vow.

I miss sleep

It's no secret to anyone that having a baby means you will sleep less. In fact, it seems like the one thing that everyone reminds you of when they find out you're pregnant. I could pay Lucas' way through college if I had a dollar for every time someone told me, "Get your sleep now because you won't get any when the baby gets here!"

I wish that were possible. If I could bank sleep, I would have banked it like it was my job when I was pregnant and then I'd be sitting pretty now. Only got four hours of sleep last night? No problem, just take two or three from the bank and you'll be good. Man, do I wish.

Never did I wish that more than today. I have been fighting a cold since last Friday, and Dan had to work. I put Lucas to bed at 8:45, 15 minutes earlier than usual but no big deal. I went up to bed at 10:30 and would have gone right to sleep but made the mistake of turning on the Olympics. Men's figure skating was on, and even though I don't like the men's skating as much as the women's, figure skating is one of my absolute favorite events of either Olympics, winter or summer. So of course I watched the skating until midnight.

Big mistake. About one hour after I fell asleep, at 1:15, Lucas started fussing. I went into his room, put his pacifier back in and sat there for a few minutes to make sure he wouldn't spit it back out immediately. Went back to my room, fell back to sleep. Repeat at 2:30. Repeat at 3:15. Repeat at 3:45. Repeat at 4:30. At that point, I tried to give Lucas a bottle, of which he took maybe an ounce. By then, my body was like, "What?" so it decided to revolt and stay awake for an hour or so. I laid in bed, feeling a sense of dread that any mother will be familiar with. If I go to sleep now, will he wake up 5 minutes later? I wanted to sleep so bad but I'd just as soon stay awake than fall asleep only to be woken up minutes after I dozed.

I eventually drifted off, and woke up at 6:15 to Lucas fussing once again. I had successfully ignored my 6:00 alarm, and when I woke up to the sounds of whimpers turning to full-out wails on the monitor, I looked over at the dog like, This is not happening. He looked at me like, You brought this on yourself, now go make that kid be quiet.

I dragged myself to his room, willing him to go to sleep after I put the pacifier in his mouth so I could get ready for the day. Instead, he was wide awake and hungry. I managed to shuffle my way through the rest of my morning routine, even succeeding in getting a bit of make-up on my face so I wouldn't look so exhausted. I somehow made it through the day, and now I'm going to bed in hopes that tonight will be a better night. And if it's not, I can at least take comfort knowing that Dan will be off work tomorrow night.

Snow Day

I was lucky enough to get a snow day today. Since I work for the teacher's union, if all three of the districts I support call off because of snow, my boss can close the office for the day. Yesterday at work we were all talking about how today would probably be a snow day, so I had a feeling that I wouldn't be working today.

Lucas must have had a feeling too, because he decided to play a little game with me last night. Except for this game was about as fun as a round of Bloody Knuckles. We had gotten into a really good pattern - bed time around 9:30 or 10, and he'd sleep until 6 or 6:30, which is just about perfect. But last night, Lucas decided it would be a barrel of laughs if he went down at 9:30 and wake up at 2:30, 3:30, 4:30, etc. I finally got tired of going into the nursery to put his pacifier back in and took him out of his swing to come sleep in bed with me. (I know, I know, HUUUUGE no-no, but whatever. Keep reading.)

So Lucas settles down next to me with my arm under his head and I doze off. Right as I fall into a nice peaceful sleep, Lucas starts squirming around. And then we went another 40 rounds of spit the paci out, put it back in, each round spaced out with enough time in between for me to reach almost-sleep. So instead of getting the desired result - sleep - I ended up laying in bed half-awake, cursing the day Dan decided to work nights. So see, all you anti-bed-sharers, the punishment fit the crime. So it was a good thing I had a snow day today because I am doubtful that I'd have had the energy to make it through work after such a terrible night.

And now, I'm going to sign off and watch a movie with my husband who has not been off work since Sunday and had not been off before that since Thursday. More scintillating and fantastically well-written blog posts to come later!