Monday, March 22, 2010

Caffeine: A Love Story

I truly don't know where I would be today were it not for you, caffeine. You have been my constant companion for more than 7 years (minus our brief and ugly break-up during my pregnancy). I love you more than I could ever express.

What I love most are the many forms you take, the many ways you present yourself to meet my needs. When my eyes are bleary and my head is swimming with exhaustion on a depressingly early Monday morning, you make yourself readily available in my a.m. cup of tea. When I'm dragging my feet during the post-lunch slump, you come to my rescue in a delicious can of Diet Pepsi. And although these days I avoid you in the evenings like I'll be avoiding bathing suits this summer, there was a time when you were by my side through those nights of cramming for finals and writing the thesis that I waited until the last minute to do.

Yes caffeine, you have been a faithful friend. Despite the fact that I find you disgusting in coffee, I love you just the same. No one's perfect, right? And now, when I need you more than ever, you are here for me. Now that my child has decided to play sleep roulette, one night pretending like he just might master the art of sleeping all night, only to burst my bubble with 10,000 samurai swords the next, you come through on your aluminum steed.

You make me believe that anything is possible. You allow me to get through the day somewhat coherently, regardless of how much sleep I've had (or didn't have) the night before. And even though you are not remotely discriminating in the company you keep (yes, I know about the others), I don't care. I love you that much. Call me self-destructive, but I won't answer. And even though we both know that all I do is take, take, take, you never cease to give.

So caffeine, my beloved, my friend, my life-blood, thank you from the bottom of my wired heart. I dread the day when that pee stick again turns up two pink lines and we'll have to part ways for another 9 long months. But never fear, for I'll be back. As soon as the fruit of my womb is born and sleeping under the warming lamp, I'll instruct the nurse to switch my saline IV to Diet Pepsi, just like I did last time. And then, yes then, we will have our joyous reunion.

But until then, dear sweet caffeine, I will rejoice in our relationship and faithfully visit you at least 3 times a day. This is my solemn vow.


Maggie said...

best one yet....i LOVE your broad vocabulary!

Diane said...

As a woman with Mountain Dew running through her veins - I respect your relationship with caffeine. Our affair is more of a love-hate thing. I recently broke it off, but I am afraid that,in time, it will lure me back . . .

ally said...

Let me start with my mini scolding..DIET ?!!tisk tisk darling. now that that is done.
im pretty sure i had like 5 red bulls the week that i took my pregnancy test for Noah!I had major self-loathing and had to face the awful truth and say goodbye to the "self-destructive" juice

Bethany J. said...

Hahahah beautiful.

magicjess said...

you should write a book! I would read it. :) I am also having an affair with Diet Pepsi...As much as I love it I feel guilty when I get a headache if I don't drink some at lunch haha