In a couple weeks, we will be taking L to his first-ever family reunion at my parents' "farm" house (there are no farm animals on this property, yet we call it "the farm" anyway). Well, he went to one last summer but he was in utero and decidedly less needy back then. Back in the day, when I used to write Facebook notes instead of blog posts, I wrote about the trials of taking the dog to his first family reunion. Oh what a fool I was.
At first, sure it was hard having Conner on wide open property going bananas. But then he became obsessed with chasing my cousin's sweet, well-behaved golden retreiver and at least we didn't have to worry about him escaping anymore. We only had to worry about my cousin's golden retriever finally having enough of the idiot that is my dog and giving him what he deserved. Which he would never do, since he was sweet and well-behaved. But Conner was the only one who didn't know that the golden could have kicked his tail in the blink of an eye.
I have a feeling that having L up there will bring many new challenges, most harder to deal with than the ones presented by Conner. I mean, if we got up there and Conner got lost in the woods and was never seen again, I would be really, really sad. It would break my heart. But if we got up there and L got lost in the woods? Not even a comparison. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to lose L in the woods, I'm just trying to show you all the difference between a fur baby and a human baby.
At the last family reunion, we were all out playing our traditional softball game, when suddenly a snake made an appearance and started slithering towards us. I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate snakes, so I beat a hasty retreat to the house (where snakes probably live in the basement but they stay away from me so I can pretend they don't exist). What if L is playing in the grass nearby and he comes across a snake? I mean, obviously I'm going to be watching him all the time, but snakes are fast. They can come out of nowhere. And judging on how much L loves the dog, I think he'd really like a snake. And multiply the dislike that Conner has for L by 1,000 and you'd probably have roughly the amount of dislike a snake would have for L. L tries to pick the snake up and put it in his mouth, L gets bit and I win Worst Mother of the Year for 2010, possibly 2011 as well. (I know I'm being irrational, but that's my right and privilege of a mother.)
Thinking about all the "what-ifs" is causing my brain to shut down. What if it's too hot and he gets heat stroke? What if he's too cold at night? What if he eats a million bugs? What if he gets all dirty? (I know that's a lame one, but I really dislike getting dirty myself and I really dislike being around anything or anyone dirty. I know, I know. Perhaps motherhood was not the best choice.)
But I'm trying to temper my insanity by reminding myself of all the fun things we're going to do. Like taking L to the beach. I'm really excited for that. He's going to love it. Fingers crossed that the water isn't frigid so we can actually take him in a little and splash around. At the very least, he'll get to play in the sand and try to eat it, so there's a happy thought.
And also, I'll have a whole ton of family there, which means a whole ton of people who want to hold him and play with him and generally get him off my mind for a little while so I can enjoy visiting with cousins I don't often see. Yeah, this will be good. I can do this. And D will be with me, so that's a huge win for me. And I already know that he's going to try to trick me into a "man-to-man" defense where he takes the dog and I take L, but nu-uh buster, that's not happening. D, if you're reading this, THAT'S NOT HAPPENING. So don't even try it.
We'll see what happens. Situations that turn out awesome generally don't make for fun to read blog posts, so I can understand that you're sitting there hoping that things go off-the-wire crappy so you'll have something fun to read when I get back. Vultures!
Just kidding, I love you guys. And for your sake, I hope that something goes horribly wrong so you'll glean some moderate entertainment from it.