Our house and the people living there

I went by the house yesterday, for the first time since the tenants moved in. Let me tell you, it was weird.

I went by after work because they had texted me that we had some mail over there. I left my office, and it was so strange taking the same route I used to take on my way home. I had to keep reminding myself that I wasn't going "home" because, even though it's still our house, it's currently someone else's home.

And I got all nervous because I haven't spoken to the tenants since we signed all the papers. D has been over there multiple times since he's still cutting the lawn and doing random little fixes. (Of course the dishwasher decided to start leaking literally the first time they used it. Which prompted us to have to call the repair guys to come twice because they didn't fix it the first time. I felt so guilty and was all worried that they'd think we knew the dishwasher was leaking and just didn't tell them. My mom told me to chill.)

D has told me over and over how nice they are and how good the house looks, but I was still a little nervous. Once I got there, I had to stop myself from just walking in through the open garage door. And then I had to remind myself to knock.

When S, the wife, came to the door, she was so friendly and welcoming and invited me right in. We talked easily and when she went into the kitchen to bring me my mail, I had a chance to look around the front room.

It was furnished beautifully and was unbelievably clean. And it was such a weird feeling - really hard for me to put into words. Like if I were to go pick L up at daycare and the sitter had bought him a new, really cute outfit and he was all shiny and clean. I'm so happy to see how cute he looks and how clean he is, but at the same time I get a pang in my heart because I feel like this other person who isn't even my child's mommy can take better care of my child than I can.

My poor house won't even want me back next July. It will be like, "You're great and everything, and you made a solid effort, but I really like these people better. They know how to show me off so I don't look so old and outdated. And they clean me every day, not just when people are coming over. So maybe you could let them stay?"

I stayed and chatted with S for over half an hour, and we had a really nice visit. Her husband R came home from work after a bit, and we talked as well. They are just super nice people, and that really makes me feel better. S is pregnant and due any day, so we talked about baby names and pregnancy and this inferno that is the state where we've been living in for the past month. And they were funny and I was not unfunny, so we laughed and talked and I finally had to tell myself to leave so I didn't over-stay my welcome.

And on the way out, S said, "I'm SO sorry it's so messy in here, we normally keep it much neater." As I desperately looked around for what mess she could possibly be talking about (The one pair of shoes by the front door? The one piece of mail on the counter?), I laughed and said, "Believe me, this is not messy."

If only she knew how it had been when we lived there.