The Day of Days

Today, something monumental happened. Today is the day I became a mom. I know that might be a little confusing, seeing as how L is going on 10 months now and I've got another one baking in the oven. But none of that matters anymore because today, my friends, is the day I purchased....THE MINIVAN (duh duh DUN).

That's right, I am now officially a mom. With my Mom Mobile. And I gotta tell you, I could not be more excited. I totally understand if you're making fun of me in your head right now, especially if you are not a mom. I would be, too.

In fact, I remember one day at work when a guy from my office pulled up in his brand new Town & Country and I mercilessly teased him about it. He was excitedly showing us all the features and I was like, "Wooooah big man! Look at you in that van!" Needless to say, I wasn't even pregnant at this time, so I did not even remotely get it. Having L changed my perspective on vans entirely and permanently. Now, I'm jealous of his freakin awesome van.

Trying to squeeze L's infant carrier in and out of my tiny little Sebring (whose back seat had just months before seemed ample enough for most needs) was a pain in the butt. I had to tip the carrier almost completely sideways to clear the handlebar past the roof of the car. And now that L is in the monstrous convertible car seat, life is even more difficult. It's in the middle seat and I have to literally get into the back seat and sit down to put L in his car seat. I'd say I have about a 50% rate of hitting his head when I lift him into the seat, and a 33% rate of hitting his head on the door frame while I'm trying to climb into the back seat. So I'm pretty sure L will be happy to see the Sebring go.

And also, I find it difficult to climb in and out of the back seat while holding L as it is. When I'm 5 months pregnant, it will be virtually impossible, so it's a really good thing we're taking care of this now.

Another perk is that I'll actually be able to use the stroller from our travel system (at least until Baby P #2 arrives, making any single strollers obsolete). Currently, our huge stroller is wedged into my trunk, where it has been for months. Once I successfully shoved it in there, I was so proud of myself that I didn't want to take it out again, for fear that it would never go back in and I'd be stuck at some store trying to figure out a way to hook the stroller to the roof. So we've been using an umbrella stroller. But I'd really like to get some good use out of the big stroller before we have to invest in a double.

Finally, the crowning glory of this van: the power sliding doors and power hatch. (Hear that? It's the sound of the angels singing a joyous song of celebration.) There are no words to describe how absolutely stoked I am about being able to open and close doors with the push of a button. I'm not even going to try. Any words I use will fall incredibly short of defining the awesomeness of these features.

And bonus? It's not silver! I've got nothing against silver vehicles, it's just not my favorite color. And it seemed like my lot in life was to always drive a silver vehicle, so I'm thanking sweet baby Jesus that this van is definitively not silver.

While I was driving around today trying to tie up loose ends so I'd be able to pick up my "swagger wagon" as my friend calls it (even though it's not whatever brand that is, I still like the phrase) after work, I was looking around my Sebring, trying to get sentimental about it. I mean, it was pretty much my rite of passage into adulthood. I bought it after I graduated college and got my job - the first car I ever took out a loan on. (Though it wasn't my first experience with taking on debt. That nod goes to you, student loans. You jackholes.)

Instead of a rush of sentiment and emotion, I found myself ambivalent, bordering on anger. Almost as soon as I bought that Sebring (used, might I add), someone decided that Sebrings should plummet in value and I was pretty much immediately upside down in that stupid car that I didn't even really want in the first place. (I wanted a smaller SUV, but I also wanted a smaller payment, so the Sebring it was.) Then, to top it all off, it proved exceedingly inadequate for my needs the minute L came into my life.

So thanks but no thanks, Sebring. I won't miss you. In fact, I'm going to gleefully take you up to the dealership tonight and hand over your key and key fob. I might give you a pat on the trunk, but I'll probably be thinking something like, "See you later, Sebring. Don't let the door hit ya where Chrysler split ya."

I'm aware of how utterly unfair I'm being to my Sebring, because really, it has been a good and reliable car to me. But take a marriage, for instance. Good and reliable are incredibly important attributes for your spouse to have. But if, on your wedding day, someone asks you, "Why are you marrying this guy?" and you reply, "Because he's good and reliable," they will probably stare at you with open dismay. Good and reliable just doesn't always cut it.

Sometimes, a girl just needs power sliding doors and a power hatch.