Friday, May 14, 2010

Top 10 reasons why I know I'm in trouble when L gets older

One of the things I love the very best about being a mommy is watching L develop and grow into his own person every day. This is going to sound totally psycho but please don't judge. Blame it on me being a first-timer.

When L was first born and at home with us, I was unconsciously relating him to a dog. I love our dog C, and was border-line obsessed with him before L came. Dogs were all I knew. So I couldn't help but immediately shift into the "dog mommy" mindset when dealing with L. Like C, L was pretty reliant on us. The only things he could do on his own were dirty his diaper and sleep. C even had an edge on L because could eat without us doing anything more than accidentally leaving a tempting treat on the coffee table for too long. Even if we'd left his bottle on the table in front of him all day, L would not have been able get it himself. One point, C.

The thing that really made me realize that L was not a dog, and might even be his own person apart from myself, was the day we tried to feed him pears. I absolutely love pears and it never even crossed my mind that he wouldn't like them. I was totally bowled over when he made the "yucky" face and spit the pears out. He tentatively opened his mouth again to see if we would give him something different, and when it was again pears, he spit them out and then clamped his mouth shut so hard that I couldn't even part his lips with my fingers (that boy has an iron jaw).

Ever since then, I've been wondering what L will be like the more his personality develops. And the more it develops, the more I'm certain I'm in trouble when he gets old enough to date. Because he's going to be the guy that all the girls want to date. Here are the Top 10 Reasons why my kid is going to be a serious catch.

Reason 1 - He has a smile that would melt the heart of Fidel Castro. I'm convinced that he is the key to world peace. We could have a gathering of the nations and I'd hold L up and they'd project his face on massive screens and he'd smile and all the world's leaders would look at him and go, "Awwwwww." And then they'd smile and hug each other and Miss America's dreams would finally come true.

Reason 2 - He has a great sense of humor. How do I know this at such a young age? Because he laughs at all my jokes.

Reason 3 - He is well-read. He'll read any book as long as you hold it in front of him with a firm grip and let him smack at it.

Reason 4 - He is interested in current events. Every morning we watch the Today show and the local news while getting ready. He can help but be glued to the screen, so interested in the state of our world is he. Here he is watching the Today show one morning this week, whilst enjoying his morning cuppa formula.

Reason 5 - He is a great conversationalist, and has even created his own language. Who is the last person you know to make up their own language? We can go back and forth forever, and he's thrilled to pieces when I answer him. I tell ya, I have a diamond in the rough.

Reason 6 - He's an artiste. I've received masterpiece for both Easter and Mother's Day. See, he already knows the way to a woman's heart is through creativity. Just look at these spectacular displays of craftmanship:

Reason 7 - He's an adventerous eater. He'll try anything once or twice or a million times. Current favorite cuisine: anything within his reach, with a strong preference for the nastiest or most dangerous thing ever that you would not want him to put in his mouth.

Reason 8 - He's just so freakin adorable.

Reason 9 - He's unbelievably charming. He has mastered the technique of looking at someone, smiling a big, huge grin and then coyly burying his face in the chest of whomever is holding him.

Reason 10 - He's going to be a famous hockey player. I have no evidence on this allegation, I'm just perpetuating the propaganda that D is doling out at home.

So come on. I mean, wouldn't you want to date this guy? I've decided the only way I can stop worrying about this situation is to control it, so I am currently taking applications for women who would like to bethroth their daughter to my son. Because clearly, that's the only option.


Nicole Everitt said...

Ah, yes. I think our children would be a perfect match.
You see, Grace too has created her own language.
She loves all sports, including hockey, so she can cheer on her betrothed once he makes it to the big times.
She's also got the same passion for finger painting (as well as butt painting, leg painting, and face painting.)
She has an equally great sense of humor. She laughs at her mom and dad, and who could blame her?
She will read anything as long as she can smack it and turn the pages back, and forth, oops, and to the cover again.

Basically, they sound like a match made in heaven.

Amber said...

hahaha this blog entry was amazing :)